Lessons from the Street
Roaming around the streets of downtown Memphis has taught me so much about life. Being able to hear others' stories, watch people battle their demons and celebrate their triumphs, and just breathe among the diversity has taught me so much about life, and here's where I hope to celebrate and highlight those moments.
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COVID Killed My Dad, and I Can’t Even Cry about It.
On May 23rd, 2020, I got a call from a 919 area code that I didn’t have in my contacts. I was sitting on a patio with some friends, and I’d’ve usually ignored it, but that day, something was just different. “Hello?” “Is this Jennifer?” an urgent-sounding female voice asked me. “Yes, ma’am? This is she?” I asked, my confusion sounding like an identity crisis. Rustling sounds pierced the line and then a man’s voice came on. I didn’t recognize it at all, and the gasping, horror-movie raspiness of it scared me. By now, I’m pacing a downtown Memphis alleyway straining to understand what’s happening through a phone whose speaker…
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How to Stop Overthinking and Driving Yourself Crazy
“But, what if…?” It’s the kiss of death for your mental health, especially if you’re an overthinker who’s been mentally and emotionally beaten down. For me, I wanted to know why the person who promised to be my world was so delighted to hurt me. And I wanted to know what I’d done to “deserve” it. Why wasn’t I enough, and, mostly, what the hell just happened? Sadly, many of us won’t get that closure. And let’s be real — if you had the chance to ask the questions, would you trust the answers? When you’re coming out of a toxic relationship (of any kind) with someone who’s deliberately spun…
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Getting Out: Reclaiming Your Turf after Abuse
Reclaiming your favorite restaurants. That song you both loved. The gym where you worked out together. Your people. It can be more than your heart (and overthinking head) can take. Too bad you can’t hide in bed and avoid the ghosts of your once-happiness… Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. And you’ve got bills to pay. Reclaiming your personal space after the end of an abusive relationship can be challenging, but it’s totally manageable. Reclaiming the rest of the world, however, might feel downright impossible. Don’t be discouraged, though. Take a deep breath. Stop shaking. Unclench your jaw. (Your dentist is going to be pissed about that later, too.) Pull your…
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Red Flags, My Favorite Flower
It took me a long time to sort my introverted narcissist out for the monster he is. Of course, part of that was my own denial. I loved him. I didn’t want to believe it. Besides, we had that one good day that one time five weeks ago. Isn’t that worth fighting for?! Sigh. Back then, red flags were my favorite flower, and he showered me in them. Had I known better, I’d have been on the lookout for these signs you’re dealing with a narcissist (or person with narcissistic traits). Gaslighting Gaslighting is usually the first way to tell the thing, as long as you can recognize it for…
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You Can’t Go That Way…
The other day, I was walking down my alley to go to the City Market around the corner, and I stopped to talk to a former student of mine (we’ll call her “M”) who’s now a member of the Blue Suede Brigade, downtown’s boots-on-the-ground safety and hospitality personnel. As she and I are celebrating her fifth day without a cigarette (good for you, chica!), this lady in a minivan drives up the alley and stops beside us. I immediately think, “But you can’t go that way.” She tells us that she wants to drive across Main Street to get on Front Street. And while continuing straight down that alley was…
